Get Your Message Across With Power Language!
If you’re finding it hard to make yourself heard, then you’ll want to learn how to use power language to your advantage. Learn from Suzanne’s experiences and apply the lessons to your own life.
Having been employed in a holistic therapy practice for more than five years – and received a salary increase on two occasions - Suzanne knew that she was doing a good job. However, she felt that her colleagues ignored her suggestions in meetings – although they were quite happy to pick her brains in one-to-one sessions.
“It’s as though I am not being heard, which is becoming increasingly frustrating,” she told me. “And, even more annoyingly, I can come up with a great idea which everyone ignores – and then, half an hour later, someone else will say exactly the same thing and everyone tells them how clever they are!”
Thinking about what I’d learned with regard to Neuro Linguistic Programming, I’d observed Suzanne carefully for the preceding half hour - and it was obvious that she was a highly visual person, who was good at seeing the “bigger picture”. The science of NLP reveals that generally in the western world, 60% of people process their thinking in a visual way. However, Suzanne was working for an organisation which had a more-than-usual level of kinesthetic or “feeling” types.
When I pointed this out to her, Suzanne began to say that she’d always felt that she was speaking a different ‘language’ to many of her colleagues. Explaining further, I said, “For example, while you may see the point that’s being made, your colleagues may feel that the argument doesn’t sit comfortably!”
We all have a favoured way of processing our thinking. Many of us (about 60%) think visually - using images, symbols and patterns. Some of us (about 30%) need to feel - through gut instinct or noticing how our bodies react to a new idea. Finally, a few people (about 10%) process their thinking in an “audio fashion – and for them, an idea needs to sound right.
By understanding that people process their thinking differently - and that the industry in which she worked was unusually biased towards kinesthetic thinkers - Suzanne could do her best to speak in all three ‘languages’ - ensuing that her colleagues could “see” “feel” and “hear” her suggestions.
But there was still more Suzanne could do to help herself. “Blue sky thinkers like you,” I explained, “tend to make connections quickly and see the solution very clearly. However, they generally don’t explain their rationale – mistakenly believing that it must be obvious to everyone listening – which often leaves the audience feeling both overwhelmed and bewildered.”
Highly visual people are “multi-track” thinkers, a fact that is reflected in their speech delivery. This group has no problem following different trains of thought delivered simultaneously. However, many non-visual thinkers will tend to switch off from communication that is not clearly delivered in a linear fashion, which explains the process each step of the way. Suzanne also smiled knowingly when I told her that females are able to focus on several things at once, while men are evolutionarily programmed to find it easier to concentrate on one subject at a time.
Neuro Linguistic Programming is the science of success – which postulates that there are three major thinking styles: “Visual”, “Audio” and “Kinesthetic”.
Understand that people process their thinking differently and that it’s important for you to speak in their “language” if you want to be understood.
Recognize that highly visual people tend to make instant connections between the problem and the solution – while the other categories tend to prefer explanations to be provided in a logical, sequential fashion. Women have evolved to be able to multi task, while men are more comfortable focusing on one task after another. Remember that no one way of “thinking” style is better than another – and that each deserves total respect.
A leadership consultant and author of the internationally acclaimed book
Tags: NLP, therapists
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